This article, from the annual QESNL (from my old training hospital league) magazine amused me so I thought I would share it with you.

About 2 years ago a couple were on a cruise ship in the Mediterranean when they noticed an elderly lady sitting alone in the dining room. She seemed to be known to the crew, so they asked their waiter who she was, but he said that he did not know only that she had been on the last four cruises.

As they left the dining room they couldn’t resist stopping to chat to her and eventually asked if it was true that she had been on the last four cruises, and when she replied in the affirmative and saw their puzzled glances, stated, “It’s cheaper than a nursing home!”

“The average cost for a nursing home is £700.00 a week. The shipping company give a long term discount and a senior citizen dicount price of £580.00 per week. That leaves me £120.00 for;

1) Gratuities £10.00

2) I will have as many as 10 meals a day, if I can waddle to the dining room, or I can have room service and breakfast in bed every day.

3) Liners have swimming pools, fitness rooms, washers, dryers etc

4) Free toothpaste, soap, shampoo and hairdryers.

5) They will treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra £5 tip will have the whole crew scrambling to help you.

6) I meet new people every 7 or 14 days.

7) TV broken? Light bulb needs changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No problem! They will fix everything and apologise for the inconvenience!

8) Clean sheets and towels every day and you don’t even have to ask for them.

9) If I fall over and break my hip in a nursing home I’ll be on the NHS. If I fall over on board they will upgrade me to a suite.

10) Do you want to see South America, Panama Canal, New Zealand, Asia ? Choose your  shipping line right and there is  a ship to go there.

11) I don’t wait for relatives to take me out, so don’t come looking for me in a nursing home, just call ship to shore!

12)  When you die , they put you over the side at no cost thus saving on funeral costs!!!

With thanks to Fiona Pipe of the QESNNL (232 PTS)

This made me chuckle especially when I remembered my period working on the Bergensfjord in 1966 and remembered that the average age of our passengers was 75 and many of them were what we called “repeaters” i.e. they came back every year for the long winter cruises which lasted about 3 months, and some of them even did  some of the summer cruises too.